Thursday, February 4, 2010

existing and beyond

so that was the depressing chart from cnn recently.
imagine trying to start a band in the middle of this.
i don't wanna get into a discussion about the music "business" because honestly, it makes me nauseous. people become musicians so they don't have to look at charts and talk numbers.

but you better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone, for the times...they are a changin'!

so here we are. a band full of modest nice guys and gals, being forced to kick and swim and force ourselves into peoples faces and ears. our shows are probably anything BUT modest, but that's because we are home there. the stage is the one thing we DO know. and we know it damn well. and we love it. but that god-awful word "networking" we don't know so well.

the reason our band goes through long lulls of no news isn't because we stopped rehearsing or making music, it's because we were waiting for opportunities to show up. every day checking the gmail to see if we got a big ol record deal (which is kind of an inside band joke). we get emails all the time from A&R peeps from all the majors. but you could respond to every single one of them and it wouldn't matter - at least in our experience. we even got 2 real record deal offers. one of them was swiped away from another local "silver lake" band (didn't think that could happen, but if it could happen surely it would happen to us). the other was retracted after business execs got cold feet in the biggest economic crisis of our time.

so then we wait some more. we wait for show offers, for interview inquiries, for something...ANYTHING. waiting around to die. all the while, doing our "job" of making and playing music. it's frustrating, because it causes you to question everything. thoughts like "maybe it's just not meant to be for castledoor" / then we remind ourselves the truth that we are a great band! certainly we're deserving of a chance if "so and so and so and so" get's a chance.

so we press on. some days that simply means existing. writing another song. booking another rehearsal. tweeting, haha. sometimes just existing as a band is the most bad ass thing you can do. to keep going after self-releasing 2 ep's and one full length album and not making a penny. literally we don't make any money from this band. maybe that's TMI, but fuggit. in the history of this band the only time we've personally made money is if at the end of the year we have a bit of "castledoor money" to bonus ourselves out for christmas. like here's a hundred bucks each or whatever. the rest goes back into the pot to keep fueling our existence.

sounds pathetic. and the last thing we wanna do is be a mopey band. liska told me i should blog more often and so today i woke up and decided i had some explaining to do. we normally don't inform our fans of all the little details. probably because every band is always on the verge of some really exciting thing that never comes through. but that's okay. that's life. the possibility of something great is what keeps you going. and my my my the possibilities ENDLESS!


lots to look forward to these days. our first ever real professional photo shoot is scheduled for march 1st. we are mega blessed to get the chance to work with two super talented photographers. see some examples here:
we also have a video shoot in the works. the new music is better than ever and we're all still alive and in pretty decent health. let's do this! whatever that is.

before i go back to work (yes, i'm sitting at a desk at my day job getting paid for this!) i would like to leave you with a quote from one of my favorite people (i nearly cried when i watched him give this speech on his last late night show):

"Please, do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality. It doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you, it’s just true." - Conan O'Brien


  1. You are the shining star in times like these! Thanks so much for bringing joy and music into our lives! Go Castledoor Go!!!

  2. I've taken a number of people to your shows, and every single one of them is blown away. You guys are consistently amazing, and I'm so glad you are hanging in there. Like you said, numbers are only numbers. Music is art and sometimes it takes time to appreciate that. Even if it may get a bit discouraging, hang in there you guys. Your time will come. Undoubtedly it will.

  3. This band, Castledoor, has meant so much more to me than you probably realize. This band, Castledoor, got me through some of the darkest days of my life. I'm not joking. Or exaggerating. When I was pregnant and homeless living in Los Angeles, I would go to bed and get up in the middle of the night to make it to one of your shows, because it was the only thing in the world that made me feel warm and okay, even if only for a few minutes. There's something about Castledoor's music, and the love that the 6 of you exude from the stage, to those of us in the crowd singing along to every word and dancing our cares away, its magic. And you know that.

    I remember the morning I woke up to you guys on the cover of the LA Times. I wasn't surprised at all, I just smiled. Of course you were on the cover, Youd been "busy makin future headlines". Theres a lot more of that to come for you, I'm confident of that.

    Ironically, tomorrow marks the 3 year anniversary of the first time I saw you guys play. It was the Silverlake Lounge and Summer Darling opened for you. Well, I live a million miles away now and of the life I left behind in the City of Angels, Castledoor shows might be what I miss most. Please, just keep doing what you do, everything else will fall into place at the proper time. Thank you for sharing your magic with us.

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  5. Sometimes I worry about you guys. I know how hard it is for bands to make a living today, especially when you're doing everything yourselves. But then I'll get an update, or a show announcement, and I'm reminded of how dedicated you all are, and how much of yourselves that you all pour into this band. It's very rare that I meet a musician, or anyone for that matter, who is as sweet and down to Earth as any of you. To be so real and exude such joy through your music and performances, is amazing.

    I know good things will come around for you guys. Not just because you deserve it, but because you actively make things happen for yourselves. You care, and it shows.

    The Conan quote is great, and I DID cry during that speech. Can't wait for Spaceland, for my 17th Castledoor show.

    Keep the fire!

  6. Castledoor is the most beautiful band on the face of the earth. It WILL happen for you guys. It must.

  7. Go on tour in June with Rooney. PLEASE!

    "The Note" in West Chester,PA! is perfect for Castledoor.

  8. uhh, didn't know you had a blog until just now. glad to be in the loop. but WHAT a post to stumble upon! thanks for writing it! especially this:
    "so we press on. some days that simply means existing. writing another song. booking another rehearsal. tweeting, haha. sometimes just existing as a band is the most bad ass thing you can do."
    keep it up. and come play in brooklyn ;)

  9. Dear Comrade,

    The other half of my band just forwarded me this, and I'm glad he did. As I sit, reading your post, eating carrots, wondering what kind of raw vegan meal I can scrape together in the next hour, I feel very much connected to your journey. Indeed, it is my own. Knowing that it is a shared experience infuses it with lavish sparkles. You do deserve your chance, so press on. We will, too. Conan was speaking to all of us, right? It gave me chills.

    We would come out to see you tomorrow night and let you force yourselves into our faces, but we will be making mellifluous sounds at the Echo in an effort to keep weary people out past their bedtimes. Soon, though.


  10. a friend brought me to your show about 2 years ago and i fell in love- was blown away & have been spreading the Castledoor word ever since. thank you for your work! i was at the show on the 22nd- and im very much anticipating your next step. thank you for such an open and honest blog- it applies to so many lives right now. many of us wouldnt press on if we knew how long these stretches would last- we are so much stronger than we think. you have so many fans waiting and excited to support you!
    'tall grass and winding roads- thats where the story grows' :)